Childlike joy

childlike with adult friends, is a beautiful feeling, leaves me reelin, in the best way

why do we loose childlikeness when we do adult things?

we’re not meant to loose it, yet if we don’t choose it, the work swing runs hard, & our inner child get’s marred

sorta lost it once, but it came back more true,
& if you’ve lost it, not late for a do over, it’s in you

freedom, love, adventure, and to belong, my hope for all, please come along

the God who created us, is one we can trust, for goodness, safety, peace, and joy

he’s the one who designed us, let us enjoy

the work of his hands, is beautiful

he designed you wonderfully, too

cmon let’s be childlike, the world needs you

Psalm 19:1

Unity

Unity

is building authenticity

it’s fostering sense of community

We practice the way, together

Unity is Authenticity

It requires mutual respect

understanding, and empathy

Authenticity grows with ownership

Pursuit of relationally wellbeing

& the building of positive relationships

We address relational issues

We grow in joy & peace, together

Unity, is fostering community

It’s belonging and connection

Everyone feels valued & supported

We learn, share, and grow together

in the context of safety & support

No one has to abort because they belong

Even when fallin short

We value spiritual growth

We pursue discipleship

together, a slow burn

Unto greater wholeness

Unity is practicing The Way

We emulate Jesus’s teaching on love

Humility, and unity, attunement to the holy dove

We follow His example in all ways

We foster mindsets of compassion, encouragement

Not letting our big emotions sway

us from loving God and eachother

Unity

is building authenticity

it’s fostering sense of community

We practice the way, together

Poetry adapted from lifemodelworks.org

Shine your Light

Oh best friend,

Tell us what you’re thinking,

Oh tell us what you’re thinking,

We wanna know your heart

We wanna know where to start

When it comes to love, love, loving

cuz we wanna,

Shine your light, shine your light, higher

Shine your light, shine your light, brighter

Shine your love, shine your love to this worlddddd

Oh best friend,

Tell us what you’re thinking

Oh tell us what you’re thinking

We wanna know your heart

We wanna know where to start

When it comes to love, love loving

cuz we wanna,

Shine your light, shine your light, higher

Shine your light, shine your light, brighter

Shine your love, shine your love to this worlddddd

It is trueeeeee

There is nothin better than youuuu

It is trueeeee

We wanna love like youuuu

So Jesus comeeee, fill our minds with you

So Jesus comeeee, teach us to be like youuuu

Joy Makers Journey

I recently received an email from the VoyageMichigan Magazine that seems to be doing a series on the "hidden gems" of entrepreneurs and they asked Joy Makers Project to participate in an interview process for one of their articles. I was shocked & stoked in the best way! 

With that, I wanted to send a piece of the story of how Joy Makers started and where it seems to be headed. Joy Makers Project started out as what I believe to be a "God given vision" and I believe it will continue to grow and hopefully flourish into whatever would bring Jesus the most joy, this is my prayer! 

Read on for a bit of backstory on Joy Maker Project. Here it is: 

Joy Makers Project was born out of my experiences 7 years ago, traveling the world for 11 months pursuing non profit volunteer work (thank you Adventures in Missions and Seth Barnes!) Each country volunteered in, I noticed something in common: the world is hurting and people need more joy in their lives. 

Upon return to the United States, this conviction of people needing more joy led me on a mission to do everything I could to spread joy to the individuals and communities around me through random acts of kindness, starting with Holland, MI. Seth Barnes, the Smith family, and several friends were a huge encouragement in this endeavor. 

At first it looked like picking creative ways to go out and spread joy, then creating videos for social media to inspire and encourage others to go out and spread joy, too. Sometimes that would entail buying basketballs, soccer balls, and frisbees, handing them out to kids at the park. Other times it looked like dropping off random notes of encouragement at the airport, stores and other sorts of random acts. The response was positive, impactful, and the receivers of these random acts of kindness raved about it. 

Over the years, I kept noticing how people’s faces would light up when they would be receivers of these “joy gifts” through random acts of kindness. There was something about the sparkle in people's eyes, that felt captivating to me. I just wanted so badly to see more of that in others. And, when I started posting these "random act of kindness joy stories" over social media, I had several people message me, explaining how my impact of spreading joy in some ways, helped keep them away from suicide or further bullying at school. I was dumbfounded! 

As Joy Makers Project progressed over the next several years, I sensed there must be more to the concept of joy than simply doing random acts of kindness but wasn’t really sure where to start with doing a deeper dive of studying on the significance of joy. But God! In 2022 I met my now good friend and Mentor, Chris Coursey, president of Thrive today, who introduced me to the concept of studying the significance of joy from a neuro-theological and psychological perspective. This profoundly expanded my world view on joy, which allowed me to understand in greater measures how joy in individual and community lives was necessary for positive mental health outcomes, human development and growth, and healthy cultures. 

This captivating revelation led me to study, practice, and apply practical brain and relational skills in my own life, which was profoundly transformational. My capacity to manage difficulties increased, my relationships grew in greater measures of joy and appreciation, I felt consistently lighter on the inside, more energized, and even strengthened. My attachment to God began to grow leaps and bounds. I felt happier and healthier than I ever had before. 

Because of how transformative it was in my own life, I started implementing practical brain skills and relational skills gauranteed to increase joy into my clinical practice, Joy Makers workshops, and all over social media. I started to emphasize to my clients and social media followers, if practiced and applied, these joy building skills would increase joyful living personally and increase relational/emotional health in individuals and communities lives with those around. 

Today Joy Makers Project focused on both continuing to show up with kindness and generosity and also intentionally training individuals and groups of teams on increasing their capacities for joy. Today, it's a fusion of both learning to experience joy and spread it wherever one may go.

I do my best to share generously what i’ve learned from my own experiences, schooling, and mentorship from Chris Coursey and am dedicated to spending the rest of my life studying the significance of joy and helping others experience its transformative potential in their lives, too. 

Though Joy Makers Project continues to evolve, it continues to seek to be an leading voice in individuals, families, business, and church lives, being a living example of the power and importance of experiencing and spreading joy in one's everyday life. I also seek to emphasize the importance of never underestimating what one act of kindness can do, one act of "glad to see you smile" can do, to impact someone, or even change the trajectory of someone’s life for the better.

Thank you for being part of this project simply by being connected in big or small ways. 

With gratitude,
Kailey with Joy Makers Project 

I continue to be so grateful learning about Joy from Chris with Thrive today andThe Life Model on building joyful relationships and communities. 

Learn about Joy Makers Projecthere 
Check out where I've been getting all kinds of Joy training at Thrive Today

About Joy Makers Project 
Joy is deeply involved with Human Development and Positive Mental Health Outcomes. Joy Makers Project leads with an uncommon solution for the devastating Mental Health problems our world is experiencing today. We train communities of people to maximize their experiencing and spreading of Joy one individual and group at a time. It’s that simple and has profound transformative potential. Clickhereto get started! 

Joy is for the inside and the outside of the margins, for the weak and for the strong, the healed and the broken, the young and the old, all are invited into a more joy filled, satisfying life (adapted from The Life Model).

We are a people

We are a people

Who go beyond the steeple

We are a people

Who know who we are

Because the God of glory

Designed you and me

To do good works

For the world to see

There is a God who loves thee

Rich, poor, cracks, and corners

Mature, immature, those outside the boarders

The wounded the healed

The scathed and unscathed

the ones who do right & the ones who steal

We are a people

Who grow in love

Who treat weaknesses with tenderness

Who rely on the holy dove

For wisdom, Godsight,

Whether to go east or west

We are tight

With the one who made us

Into a people

A more human community

That praises thee

one and only

king of kings

Jesus, our glory

We are His people

The Big 6 Negative Emotions

Do you see tendencies in yourself to avoid, dismiss, or get swallowed up by certain emotions? We’re designed to learn how to manage our big 6 negative emotions and return to joy and peace amidst feeling them. Learning and maturing this skill increases your capacity to experience and spread joy! 

FEAR: Perception of danger or harm, whether real or imagined

1. When do you experience it? 

2. What does it feel like in your body? 

3. What are your “old” coping patterns?

4. How do you manage it healthily? 

ANGER: Feelings of annoyance, displeasure, or hostility, often arising from frustration, perceived injustice, or feeling wronged

1. When do you experience it? 

2. What does it feel like in your body?

3. What are your “old” coping patterns?  

4. How do you manage it healthily? 

SADNESS: Negative feeling characterized by unhappiness, sorrow, or loss

1. When do you experience it? 

2. What does it feel like in your body?

3. What are your “old” coping patterns?  

4. How do you manage it healthily? 

HOPELESS DESPAIR: An emotional state characterized by a complete absence of hope and a feeling that things will never improve

1. When do you experience it? 

2. What does it feel like in your body? 

3. What are your “old” coping patterns?

4. How do you manage it healthily? 

SHAME: Toxic shame is a painful emotion characterized by a belief that one is flawed and unworthy of love and belonging, leading to feelings of embarrassment, inadequacy, and a desire to hide. Healthy shame is focused on specific actions causing a sense of embarrassment and sense of “these people aren't glad to be with me or im not glad to be with myself right now”  

1. When do you experience it? 

2. What does it feel like in your body?

3. What are your “old” coping patterns?  

4. How do you manage it healthily? 

DISGUST: Intense feeling of revulsion or strong dislike, often experienced in response to something considered offensive, unpleasant, or potentially harmful

1. When do you experience it? 

2. What does it feel like in your body? 

3. What are your “old” coping patterns?

4. How do you manage it healthily?  

 Resource adapted from THRIVEtoday.org 

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creation: the old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new”

2 Corinthians 5:17

Unscathed with joy

I am without 

Suffering, injury, or harm

Because of security 

In the one who made me 

Attachment 

To the God of glory 

The maker of intimacy 

Deeply loved, valued, seen

Understood

I am His peachy keen 
And if anything should happen 

Where the wind blows

Where the enemy is tappin 

I will still be safe and covered 

I will never be outnumbered 

Cuz the one who made the heavens and the sea  
Has secure attachment with me 

Together, forever, we are one 

Covenant 

Unscathed 

My joy made complete in Him

Special Neighbors spreading joy

Neighbors can be such a blessing and I have a cool story to share with you about a very special neighbor!

I grew up on the east side of MI & moved away to Traverse City in 5th grade. We had very special neighbors who brought lots of joy to my family back on the east side of MI. It was a hard goodbye but thankfully it was just a “see you later!”

Fast forward at least 10 years, I found myself at the same college in Holland Mi as the special neighbors son.

So we reconnected & then fast forward to a little less than a year ago. I was prayerfully considering to buy a home & a bit nervous with the big purchase.

As I discerned this purchase, to my joy & surprise, I had a realization that my old special neighbors son, was actually living across the street from the house I was prayerfully considering buying, WOAH!

Fast forward to today, the Dad of the son of those special neighbors from 5th grade who I moved away from, stopped by their sons house today (across the street from my home) & saw me landscaping, or at least attempting to, haha!

We chatted & he left for a bit to take care of some things. I thought to myself during that time, “man God I am so glad these special neighbors live across the street from me after all these years. It’s so comforting to even just say hello to them here and there.”

I had also been slightly concerned in my head thinking "how am I going to afford the landscaping I desire to do to this home? What should I prioritize first? I thought to myself, "mulch for sure" this thought had crossed my mind that afternoon and week prior.

Fast forward to about 5 minutes later, my special neighbor’s Dad shows up to my driveway with bags on bags of beautiful brown mulch.

He surprised me!! He shared it was meant to be a house warming gift. Wow. The generosity! The joy! The glad to be togetherness.

Not only did this Dad provide surprise mulch, he also helped me plant all these plants in the front yard.

This was a true gift and a blessing and every-time I look at the landscape, no doubt I will smile by this wonderful Dad’s and special neighbors gift.

Any good gift is a gift from the giver of life 🤍 James 1:17

Joyful Tension

No striving

Just abiding

In the one who made me

Jesus you are always enough

You help me remain tough

Yet soft in the best way

You are all I need today

Tomorrow has enough worries of its own

I learn to rest with no stress

Because with God I have been shown

In time, all is clear, my soul is well

I need only be still

And remain in your will

Loved, special, and delighted in

I am cherished & so are you

Let’s walk this life

Hand in hand, friends

Let’s build glad to be togetherness

The world needs you

To shine on too

We can do this, forever

Joy Bonding verses Fear Bonding

Joy bonding is the way to go

Fear bonding is a blow

The health of relationships

Is dependent on our awareness

It’s time to slow down & go to town on reflection

Am I creating joyful connections or fearful bonds?

You’re made to be a joy maker, not a joy stealer

In our perfect designs, who we’re created to be, we help set others free

With love, with joy, with peace, with goodness to share, with abundance & generosity

You’re portion is meant to be sharing the things that are good, right, and true

Let’s keep this going & help make broken things newww!

It starts with relationship & how you interact

Let’s take time to counteract fear with love, fear with joy

Cmon we can grow together & watch this garden of goodness flourish

From disintegrated to integration

I’ve had the privilege of meeting with someone over the years who has come from much severe trauma in their childhood to a point, they were not able to live in their present body, present in the day to day, rather their brain would at times resort to altering personalities which in many ways allowed them to survive, the difficulty at hand though, was it also hindered them from living into their present self, their true identity.

Over time through bonding, building secure attachment, through joyful connections and resting, we got to a place in the therapeutic relationship we could then dive into some of the traumatic memories that took place in childhood. As we joyfully connected, mixed in validation, showered empathy, and provided emotional/spiritual support, I watched this individual as the weeks, months, and years went by, start to experience more freedom, and even start dreaming about their future, perhaps for one of the first times.

To dream about the future is a sign of living in the present with your body, though, sounds like an oxymoron right? But let me explain, for many, “dreaming about the future” isn’t a reality, because they’re merely trying to survive the day to day or unsure if they will even be around 1 year from now.

But this individual, this individual has overcome and grown exponentially. Not only are they living in their present body, they are starting to discover who their best self is, their most alive self, the self that is living to their fullest potential.

And as this special person is growing in all these ways, they are starting to spread joy. How so? Through gift giving to others! I recently received a gift from this individual and it was one of the most beautiful and precious moments.

Experiencing joy through Immanuel journaling

I was meeting with someone recently, someone who has experienced sever chronic pain for a very long time, for reasons they do not fully understand, nor doctors. It’s heavy, I cannot imagine experiencing chronic pain to points it’s a great challenge to get out of bed some days.

This individual and I have been meeting for some time and recently we decided to invite Immanuel into the pain and disappointment of continuous chronic pain. So this is just what we did, we invited Jesus into the pain processing, and simply wrote down thoughts and reflections that came to mind as we asked Him for His perspective on these questions/prompts:

Journal out thoughts that come to mind as you ask God these questions: 

• Question 1: I can see you (Genesis 16:13) 

• Write down observable actions + surroundings as God is describing them back to you “I can see you sitting at this table” “I saw that happen to you” 

• Write down body movements, sensations, of psychological responses that others might not be able to notice with their bare eyes “I can see your fists are clenched” 

• Question 2: I can hear you (Genesis 16:11, Gen 21)

• Write as God says what He hears from your speech + actions “I can hear you yelling + screaming” “I feel unsure about this situation” 

• Continue writing about unspoken words in your mind. God recognizes what he hears rom our inner thoughts “I hear you judging yourself” “I hear the deep desires of your heart” 

• Question 3: I can understand how hard this is for you 

• Put into words your impression of God’s accurate understanding + how important something is to us. God is able to illuminate our responses and grant us forgiveness, understanding, + comfort. “I can see this is a big deal for you” “this is as big as when your parents announced a divorce” 

• Question 4: I am glad to be with you + treat your weaknesses tenderly

  • Write down what you perceive God might be saying in a loving, tender way. “I am glad to be with you + see your weakness tenderly” 

  • Peter felt defeated + hopelessly retreated back even after He knew of Jesus' resurrection. Yet Jesus came to Him + invited Him 3 times in parallel to PEter’s 3 denials. Peter was restored once he experienced that Jesus still wanted Him in spite of his weakness. Once we return to Joy with God’s help we can live with Him as children. 

  Question 5: I can do something about what you’re going through (God showed Hagar His active goodness in her life + also called her to go back to her life as a slave) 

• Sometimes we find God asking us to do the difficult and hard work of living as His children. The promise of His constant presence, His unfailing love, + His pure goodness will sustain us. “I will help you, I love you, I have you in the palm of my hands”

The result? Peace throughout the body, tears rolling down the face, awe and wonder of “I didn’t know God could speak to my heart in these ways, I feel heard, seen, understood by him”

For me to witness such an experience, was a true joy and privilege. My body felt warm on the inside, my face felt stretched from smiling, I felt grateful to God. These are the moments I can hardly believe I get to do what I do.

Immanuel Journaling resource adapted from the wonderful “Joyful Journey: Listening to Immanuel by  E. James Wilder  (Author), Anna Kang  (Author), John Loppnow  (Author), Sungshim Loppnow  (Author)

A poem on Depression

A hole you stumble down
Until you hit the bottom
And can only hear the sound
Of despair, an emptying, numbness

You are broken
You are worn
Fatigue moves through your veins
The will to live is dwindling

Yet the way out of the pit
is to climb up
How tho? When will to exist ceases?
Wounded you are
It is time for rescue

That life line, that voice that says
You do not have to do this alone anymore

There are hands extending a ladder
From the top of the pit, life awaits
Offering Steps towards wholeness
Standing in the gap
Making effort to help you back
To where you’re made to be
Shooting for the stars
& life, full of color

One step at a time they say
One good habit, One small change
Becomes investment over time
We will climb out the pit of depression, together
One step at a time

The steps are like a ladder
Each new habit
takes you out of the internal cage
It moves you up a step
And day by day, you’re getting closer
To where the light shines on you
To where hope, purpose, & brighter days shine on

You will surely see the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living, out of the pit

Depression does NOT have its last say
Your life is valuable, more precious than gold
We need you, to come alive

Experiencing joy in Mexico

I took a trip to Mexico a couple of weeks ago and it was a total BLAST!

There are a few memories I have about times I experienced joy through experiencing God’s presence. Here they are:

1) The God who provides…Elotes

I was feeling wiped, extra sun burnt, and ready to lay my head for a quick nap. It was the last night of my stay in Mexico and I was trying to get into my air b and b however, the lock was not seeming to work, that, or my mind was slow from the fatigue but either way (haha) I was having difficulty getting into the cozy place to rest my head.

As I was trying to unlock the gate, after about 10-15 minutes or so I heard a voice from what seemed like an intercom started spiking “hello, are you locked out, what is the problem, ma’am?” I respond back, who are you, where are you coming from are you coming from the camera?” “Yes, yes I am, I see you are locked out, I will be right there”

“Phew, I think to myself” and the next thought that occurred to me, “Man I could really go for an elote right now, haven’t had one of those yet in Mexico and it just sounds so refreshing.”

Kid you not, within 10-15 seconds I hear a loud voice yelling, “Elote’s ELotes, Elotes”

I pear behind the bush I am standing by and behold, see the cutest looking older hispanic man riding a bike with a trailer behind him, full of Elotes! I make my way towards this man, yelling “Elote’s si si si!”

Oh man, what a treat. I eat up that Elote and walk back to the gate where my air b and b is, and the timing was just perfect, my air b and b host walks up.

He graciously helps me with getting into the air b and b premises. God provided an Elote I believe to refresh my mind and spirit as I was in a situation that was a little less than ideal. Small provisions, but with meaning to them. I understand it was “just an elote” but it is truly like God, to provide food and refreshment. It reminds me of Hagar’s story, but at a way less intense level. Haha.

2) 4 times in 5 days…Pray

I was spending time at a beautiful blue lagoon in Mexico, sitting on a sunny side of a dock, enjoying the sunshine. I was reading a lovely book while laying on my beach towel and couldn’t help but overhear two individuals next to me chatting about inner healing and recovery from emotional wounds.

I found it to be very interesting and also felt compassion for this woman who seemed to be pursuing healing.

I left this lagoon and to my surprise, the next 3 days, I saw this individual everyday at some point, all in different locations.

By the fourth time I witnesses seeing this person I thought to myself, “okay Lord this is wild, what do you want me to know or do because I feel as if you are highlighting this person to me”

Part of me wondered if the Lord wanted me to pray for her, so that is what I did. & it felt awesome to be able to do so. I pray those prayers were something meaningful.

3) Getting equipped with returning to joy

I was taking time to pray about what this next season would entail for Joy Makers Project. Questions such as what should I be focusing on, Lord, what do you see fitting in this season? This thought about a workshop popped in my mind. “Create a workshop on these 5 topics”, 1 of which was about returning to Joy from upsetting emotions. I found myself pondering this wondering, “but how Lord, how will facilitate this, this would be important for me to first observe and watch how others train others in this, right?”

I left it at that, I figured if the Lord desired for me to press into this, He would provide, I just needed to make my requests known to him.

The next morning, someone messaged me from a ministry I learn much from about relational skills and developing emotional capacities. They texted and offered me a full ride scholarship to this training that would equip me with the skills needed to also help facilitate. Boom, God’s provision. There’s nothing more sweeter and filling of joy to recognize God’s provision in one’s life. For this, I am grateful!

Experiencing joy through intentional thinking

Sometimes people are experts at predicting the worst case scenario. Learning to overcome pessimistic thoughts and predictions is extremely important for building more joy in your life.

A healthy brain is goin to be full of joy. It’s important we become intentional with growing the good stuff in our brain and pulling out the “weeds” of negative thinking.

Being someone that is characterized with predicting the worst is not a good fit for a healthy brain or body. Dr. Daniel Amen talks about how negative predictions (thinking) lowers immune system effectiveness and increases the risk of becoming ill. More sickness, less ample amounts of joy. No thanks!

In short, our thoughts affect every cell of our body. So, let’s start killing off those automatic negative thoughts (ANTS) & give our cells the good stuff it needs.

Whenever you feel anxious, tense, or find yourself thinking through the worst care scenerio, try this out:

STEP 1: Write down the event that is causing you anxiety, for example, having to get up in front of people to give a speech.

STEP 2: Notice and write down the automatic negative thoughts that come into your mind. Odds are, when you’re anxious, your thoughts are predicting a negate outcome to a situation.

STEP 3: Label and identify the thought as a “negative thought"” or something else. Sometimes the label can take the power of that thought.

STEP 4: Talk back to the negative thought that comes to your mind. Thoughts are just thoughts, not facts.

STEP 5: Practice & repeat! You got this. :)

Resource adapted from “Change your Brain, Change Your Life” book by Dr. Daniel Amen

Experiencing joy through relational repair

How to effectively repair a ruptured relationship

What is relational repair? It is the process of taking action to restore a relationship to a more desirable state. The relational repair process involves understanding what went wrong/what was hurtful and working together to improve communication, to restore peace, and to build trust. 

Why pursue relational repair? It’s important to pursue relational repair because restored relationships are healthier for everyone involved, restored relationships increase health to your brain’s functioning, and help build more overall satisfaction and joy in life. Your brain is designed for peaceful relationships. The list of reasons go on and on. 

What are the essential ingredients for relational repair? 

• Relational circuit awareness: Understanding when your relational circuit is on or off and having the trained skill of turning your relational circuit back on

• Humility: The trained skill of recognizing and accepting one's limitations, being open to feedback, and valuing the contributions and perspectives of others

• Validation: The trained skill of verbally acknowledging someone’s experience from their unique perspective regardless if it fits your perspective or not

• Empathy: The trained skill to understand and share the feelings of another

• Clear Goal(s): The object of each person's ambition or effort; their desired result of the relational repair meetings

Preparation checklist prior to a relational repair meeting: 

• Assess whether or not both parties involved have acquired the “essential ingredients” listed above. If you do not have those skills, learn and apply them prior to pursuing a relational repair meeting 

• Both parties involved write bullet points of important conversation topics they desire to discuss with the other party & review with a trusted support

• Discern whether or not a third part should be involved 

• Pick a warm, quiet space to meet, a neutral space both parties feel comfortable meeting at 

• Decide who will share their grievances first and the goal for these meetings 

Meeting checklist for relational repair: 

• Check relational circuits/ensure they are on

• Verbally express desired goals and expectations for relational repair process 

• Take turns active listening, validating, and empathizing with the other person’s perspective 

• Monitor signs of overwhelm and take breathers or quieting times as needed (deep breathes together, silence, breaks)

• After all essential topics have been processed, discussed, and validated, decide whether you would like to pursue a renewing or releasing of the relationship and what that would practically look like moving forward 

Other important notes: Living in a world characterized by brokenness with a society of people lacking important relational skills for a thriving relationship, we all have experienced the hardship of relational ruptures one way or another. 

Thankfully, relational ruptures don’t have to stay that way, if the people involved are willing and able to gain and implement a few simple yet profound skills that have the ability to transform relational tensions into relational restoration, joy, and peace.

Relational repair takes time, investment, and effort. Relational repair has potential to be incredibly fulfilling and satisfying or to be distastefully painful and triggering depending on the severity of the hurt and woundedness involved.

The goals of each person involved with relational repair may be different from one another, adding a layer of complexity and possible disappointment to one or both persons involved in the conflict. 

Relational repair can aid healing not only for the relationship at hand but for the individual hearts involved as well. 

Relational repair done well, builds joy and satisfaction within the individuals and community involved 

Experiencing joy at Stove Top Roasters

Last Saturday morning, I made plans to catch up with a couple friends and while I was looking forward to that time together, I did not expect the extra surprise & joy of making a new friend at that coffee shop, too.

Stove Top Roasters was a place I had never been to and wanted to try, why not try it with my couple of friends I was planning to meet up with? It’s like me to try new things, to take these small adventures, I find joy in trying out new places, it keeps the mundane a little more interesting in the day to day.

So that’s what I did.

I walked into the coffee shop about an hour prior to meeting my friends there, set my backpack and computer down, and took a phone call outside. As I took the call outside, I noticed someone walk in. When I saw that person, I was struck with joy and curiosity. Practically, it was cold out, my hands were hurting from the crisp air, I wrapped up the phone call and walked inside, at this point, about a half hour or so perhaps a bit longer before my friends showed up.

I go and sit down where my backpack was laid out and realize, the person who had struck me, was sitting at the same table as I. My eyes lit up a little, I felt a smile cross my face, I was curious. This person intrigued me.

Naturally, this person and I started chatting. “What’s your name?,” “what’s your name?” There was a click, a joy filled vibe, and a variety of open ended questions that started to spill out. There were smiles, laughter, depth, and sincerity. We talked about entrepreneurship, we realized we’re close to the same age, we shared some of our family and community backgrounds, we conversed some about our faith and spiritual journeys.

Twenty minutes or so goes by, “how did this just all come about?” I think to myself. “This is really fun” I say internally. “How did we just go so deep?” I think. “God is this a new friend for me to have, you know the kind of friend I was telling you I craved, desiring to have more peer interactions with someone that is also passionately pursuing entrepreneurship with purpose, passion, faith, wholeheartedness, and joy?”

I think so. I think God answered my prayer and allowed this new friend of mine and I to meet and enjoy each other’s company. I felt warmth, peace, and gratitude for God as I think about the blessing this new friend is.

Joy is found in the big and little moments, memories, and events in life. Soak in those gifts, relish them, your brain, mind, and heart, thank you for it.

Experiencing joy with "it's going to be a great day"

Dr. Daniel Amen came up with a simple yet profound method for training the brain to remember the good stuff. He encourages individuals to create a habit of as soon as you wake up, thinking, saying out loud, or writing, “it’s going to be a great day.”

This primes the brain to search out the good small and big things that happen in that day, and the result is what? It’s joy strength.

Joy strength is our friend, we need it to not only survive but thrive in this life. Joy strength is the thought process your brain needs to function its best. Joy strength helps keep our brain healthy. And a healthy brain, can change your life for the better.

So what do we need as a society? We need joy strength, and it starts with one individual at a time.

I had an old picture frame I wasn’t using so decided it would be the perfect frame for quoting “it’s going to be a great day.” I strategically set this frame up in a spot of my living room so when I walk out of my bedroom first thing, that is what I look at.

In addition to this small but important habit, I’ve added in an additional piece of my nightly routine as I prepare to sleep. I get cozied up in my blankets, lay my head on the pillow, take a few big deep breaths, and reflect on the smaller “great” things that happened in my day.

Perhaps that was an encouraging text I received from a friend, maybe it was the taco I made, possibly the walk outside I took, maybe the pages of a book I read.

When we train our brains to remember the great little things, it’s teaching our brain to go to the good stuff as a natural focus.

Small positive net habits make all the difference over time. You get to choose how intentional you want to be in growing joy. You got this!

Experiencing joy through small beginnings

About 12 years ago I was going through a spiritual crisis. I was surrounded by peers on a college campus that conversed with each other as if they could “hear God’s voice” and interact with Him. I remember walking around the campus overhearing these conversations and thinking to myself, “is there something wrong with me, I don’t hear God like that? Am I missing something?”

It was bewildering to me, disappointing, and a bit confusing, too. Was it possible to really hear God’s voice like that on a daily basis? Was it really possible to have that kind of relationship with God? I wasn’t sure, but I was determined to find out because if it was true, I wanted that kind of access to God, I wanted a closer relationship with Him, I wanted to know Him like I knew a friend.

So, II began my investigation process. I started talking with peers, mentors, and just about anyone who would be willing to talk with me. I pounded willing listeners with questions, desperate for answers, and eager to learn.

While I was learning quite a bit from willing individuals sharing their experiences in hearing God’s voice, I still felt this sense of insecurity, heaviness, and fear throughout my body. I had this ringing question, “what if hearing God’s voice doesn’t work for me?” A lump in my throat formed, tears on the verge of streaming down the cliff of my eyelids.

I remember a particular afternoon, sitting at my “ work desk,” a laundry folding table in the college mens football locker room. I was already feeling quite uncomfortable by the very nature of my work duties, washing stinky football clothes, and handing out football gear to my college peers as needed (out of all the places to have a part time job as a freshman in college). In addition to this discomfort, I was feeling haunted by the overwhelming feeling of not knowing how to hear God’s voice.

Amidst that one afternoon in the football locker room, I found myself feeling frustrated. I so desperaetaly wanted to hear God’s voice and didn’t really know where to start besides having that honest conversation with God, which really felt like I was talking outloud to thin air, hoping no football guys would walk in and hear me conversing by myself.

In that conversation, attempting to talk with God it went something like this, “Hey God, I am feeling so frustrated, You say in your word I can hear your voice and everyone around me seems to be able to do that well however, I feel like I can’t or at least I have so far to go and I wish I was so much more able to hear your voice, I wish I was more spiritually mature. Can you show me a sign that you hear me God? What are your thoughts on what I am saying?”

Within moments, likely after taking a big deep breath and wiping a few tears, I decided to open up my bible and start reading, this time I decided to flip it open to a random page and go from there.

I proceeded to sheepishly opened up the Bible to a random page. To my surprise and delight, the first scripture I came across brought a sense of awe and comfort. This is what I read:

“Do not despise these small beginnings, for the Lord is already rejoicing to see the work begin” Zechariah 4:10.

Upon reading this my heart jumped, my slumped shoulders perked up, and a smile formed on my face. I felt peace, a sense of relief, and comfort. In that moment I could not chalk it up to coincidence, those words were the words I needed to hear to know God was not upset with my little understanding of how to hear His voice, in fact he was delighted, even rejoicing, to see the small beginnings of this journey begin.

That moment in time shifted the way I viewed the journey into understanding how to hear God’s voice. I know I was not alone in the difficulties at times in trusting that I can hear Him, this is a common theme among believers. But I want to encourage you that you do in fact hear God’s voice, it’s just a matter of training your brain to tune into detecting his voice and that takes time, practice, and growing in attunement to him.

In the journey with you, friend!

“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27

Experiencing joy through the 1 page miracle

Our brains are designed for building joy as a life long process and they’re also designed to function off of goal setting. We get to choose how intentional we want to be with that! Investing your time into reflecting upon and writing out your goals in four primary categories of life such as relationships, work, money, and self can help train your brain to experience satisfying activities that help you reach your goals, allowing you to develop a more joyfilled life. It’s a simple yet profound activity, that can assist in your transformative potential! Ready to try it out with me?

Next to each category below, write down what you want in each area. Keep it positive. Make sure you write it down in first person such as “I want.” It’s suggested you carry this 1 Page miracle around you for a few days to reflect on it and refine it, and so you can stay up to date on your life’s primary objectives.

On a daily basis, you can ask yourself, “Is my behavior today getting me what I want?” Doing so will help you focus your behavior and actions on the things that matter most to you. It also helps you develop greater self-control, which is key to better decision-making.

Do this, and you’ll be on track for living a more conscious, intentional, and purposeful life. Your energy will expend on things that bring joy. Let’s do this thing!

1. Relationships

• Spouse/partner

• Children

• Extended family

• Friends

• Clients

  2. Work

• Short-term goals

• Long-term goals

  3. Money

• Short-term goals

• Long-term goals

• 4. Self

• Physical

• Emotional

• Spiritual

  Resource found at https://www.amenclinics.com/blog/one-page-miracle-the-easiest-and-best-goal-setting-tool/